Mr. Katcher tells a Halloween tale
Oct 13, 2021
Mr. Katcher tells a Halloween tale
Good evening and happy Halloween. With an unbridled tale of horror and the macabre. Viewer discretion is vibes. This is stories actually appropriate for all ages. This is a story that happened to me many, many years ago when I was a young man. I was driving through the state of Kansas. And if you've ever been to Kansas, you know that there's absolutely nothing out there. No houses, no cities, no good colleges. Just miles and miles and miles, we fields and cornfields and cow pastures. Well, I was driving along. It was about this time of year, October, and the sunset early. There was absolutely no other traffic on the road. I was driving along. And then my car started to make a funny noise. And then it started to go. Because my Internet died. And I just had enough of pull over to the side of the road. Well, I got out of the car. And this pain many years ago, I could not have a cell phone because nobody had cell phones back then.
There was nobody I could call. Did not call the poop truck a dot call anyone to come pick me up. My only option was to hike ten miles to the nearest town, and hopefully find a mechanic who was open. So I started walking along the side of the road. Occasionally a car would drive by. But nobody stopped to see if I was okay. Well, just as the sun was about to go down, I came across an old old farmhouse as farmhouse was so old. I couldn't tell if anybody actually lived there. But I thought if somebody did live there, I could go and have them call the tow truck to come get me. So I walked across the weed, working yard, walked across the porch. And knocked on the door. There was no answer. There was no answer for a very long time. And just when I was about to give up and think that nobody lived there anymore at the door open. There was the oldest old woman I had ever seen. She was much shorter than me, but she had hair, white hair, all the way down to her waist.
She had a very long pointy nose, and she looked up at me and said, may I help you sunny? I said, yes, ma'am, my car broke down. Would you please call two truck to come get me? She said, I don't have one of those fancy new telephone things. And I said, okay, thanks anyway. She said, wait. It's getting dark. It town as a long way away. My son comes by every morning. Why don't you spend the night here and in the morning? He can come and drive you into town. Now kids, do you ever go into the house of someone you don't know? Never, ever, ever go into the house with someone you don't know. But I was young and I was foolish and I did not want to walk, ten miles to dark. So I said, thank you, ma'am. That would be great. And I followed her into the house. It was the worst mistake I had ever made. I walked into our living room all the furniture was covered with white sheets. She said, you're a room. Is a basement. So I opened the door to the basement. We went down a flight of dance. Stone steps. And came to another door.
Do you know what was behind that door? Very nice bedroom. I was pleasantly surprised. She said, you stay here in the morning, my son will come and he'll drive you into town. But whatever you do, doubt, open that door. It's just a little door set in the wall, maybe a little smaller than a regular door. And I said, why not? But she just looked at me and said, don't open the door. And then she left. Well, like I said, this was the day before people had cell phones. And I didn't have any books or anything to do. And it was about 8 o'clock. So I wasn't ready to go to bed. So I was just sitting there in the room thinking, what did I do? What to do? Then I thought maybe I'll open that door, just a little peek to see what was in there. It was the worst mistake I ever made. I opened that door. Beyond that door was a tiny room. Lit only by a single lightbulb. It was very small room. And in that room, I kid you not. I don't know how it got there to this day. I don't know. I don't want to know, but there was a full grown gorilla, it was sitting there all huddled in the damp and dark, and I looked absolutely miserable, and I pity that port arilla.
I had no idea how I got to Kansas. But I laid my hand to touch upon the shoulder. And that moment the guerrilla looked up at me. And do you know what color size were? They were yellow. And it opened its mouth. It stood up. And it was much taller than me. And that got rid of it. Which girls do when they're skating or angry. And I thought, maybe I better believe. So I tried to get out of that room. I tried to close that door with that corolla shot down a huge hairy arm and knock that door wide open. I decided to run away. So I ran up the stairs. Well, that gorilla was right behind me. And I ran out of that house. I think guerrilla paste is right behind me. And I ran into the art. That girl all right bye. And as I ran across the yard, I could hear that old lady said. Well, I'm running down the highway. That girl is right behind me. But the thing about Gorillaz is, they're not made for speed. They just can't run very fast. And as I was running and running, I could tell that the gorilla was falling farther and farther behind. And I thought if I keep running eventually you'll get tired and all that running.
So as I was running away, that girl was right behind me. And just when it looked like the girl was getting tired and was about to give up, I tripped over the only bump in the entire state of Kansas. Had that guerrilla wasn't right above me. And he reached out one big hairy hand and went tag your hit. So be warned. When you are a guest in somebody's house, follow the rules. They say take off your shoes, take off your shoes. They say no smoking no smoking. And if they say don't open the gorilla door, don't open the door, a door. Happy Halloween.